Uncertainties and Certainties

Like many nonprofits, WGM is having to adjust to the global economic situation. Interestingly, donations are up compared to this time last year, so our supporters are still firmly supporting. But income from investments are down, and that is a significant portion of the support staff budget. So, trusting God to help the organization through this, the leadership is doing some restructuring to try to get the place moving more efficiently. Which is great! But that means we're all a bit uncertain about job security. So I've compiled a list of my current certainties and uncertainties to make myself feel better.

Uncertainty: that I will have a job at the end of the day on Monday
Certainty: God's got my back
Uncertainty: that we'll be able to celebrate our vacation in DC next week with as much gusto as we'd hoped.
Certainty: that we're sure as heck still going!
Uncertainty: that I'll find a new job quickly, if I lose my current one
Certainty: that God will take care of us no matter what!

And because I'm an optimist at heart, I thought of a bunch more certainties!

Certainty: I have the most awesome husband ever
Certainty: I have great friends and family who love me
Certainty: I have a nice house and a warm bed to take cover in if the world gets too much
Certainty: God has blessed us in wonderful ways, and I know He's got plans for us!

So I know it will be okay. It's just still hard. Pray for me?

World Go Manual: Witness

By the grace of God, I was saved from a life and eternity separated from Him, I get to live with Himforever. If it were not for Him, I would be a horrible person, and my life – I’m sure – would be awful to match. But instead, I’m blessed with an amazing husband, a lovely house, parents who love Jesus, and knowledge that I’m following Him every step of the way. Why is it that I am not so overcome with gratitude that I tell every single person I meet about Him?

Chapter 2 of the World Go Manual deals with this issue of witnessing: “It is a wrenching, soul-bearing experience to tell other people who Jesus Christ is and what He means for us and for the world…Talk about how Christ has changed your heart. You are the world’s leading expert on that subject.”

The action step I chose was "Become a witness for Christ online." In my daily life, I don’t know very many non-Christians. I work for a Christian organization, my family are all believers, and most of my free time is spent at church or with my friends, most of whom are Christians. One of the reasons I started doing theatre at Marion Civic was because I wanted to feel like a missionary again, and I’ve met several people through that who needed Christ. I turned to Facebook, which is where I have most contact with my non-Christian friends. Most of my spiritual talks happened on the phone, but Facebook helps keep constant contact going.

One of the questions in the action step was, “Were your efforts successful at reaching anyone?” My response to that was: I’ve been able to communicate the truth about Jesus and what he has done for me. The rest is up to God.

There’s an awesome story about a guy in Sydney, Australia who witnessed on George Street. In the 1990’s, a British pastor started meeting people who all had the same testimony – they were given a tract by a old man and asked where they would go if they died tonight. He met people in India, the US, England, the Caribbean, Australia - all had the same testimony. Eventually, this pastor travelled to Sydney, and was able to meet Frank Jenner, the George Street witness. As he told Mr Jenner these stories of missionaries, pastors, and others who had come to Christ because of his witness, Mr Jenner started to weep. For 40 years, he had faithfully witnessed to people out of gratitude for the change Christ made in his life, but he had never known anyone to come to Him during that time. He just knew that’s what he was supposed to do, so he did. He obeyed God, and left the results up to Him.

Praying for Boxes

I've been really trying lately, when something is on my mind and bothering me, to pray about it right then. So, a few days ago, I was worrying about boxes for mailing the books I've been selling. I had bought bubble envelopes, but whenever possible, I like to use free "found" boxes or envelopes. Because they're free. The IT industry has perfected a box for shipping memory and whatnot, and it's the PERFECT size for a trade-sized paperback, of which I have a lot. The WGM IT department kept me stocked for a while, but I had used my last one on this particular day, and I was worrying about where I would get more. So I prayed. I know it's silly, to pray about boxes. But I did anyway, and felt much better. It's amazing what happens when you tell God what's on your mind. It's like He cares and listens or something. :) A few days later, Steve brought these home:

Yep, a whole pile of perfect-sized boxes. God is amazing. Steve had told the guys he works with at Taylor to be on the lookout for me, and boy, did they deliver.

And while we're on the subject of boxes for books, here's a peak at my store.

This is only some of them. There's more on the right. I have over 500 posted on half.com.


Here's the rest that I still have to post from SF's stock. But the "problem" is, I've been selling so many more than I'm used to, that I'm a little overwhelmed. So I'm waiting a few days to post the rest of this stock. I've gone from maybe one sale a day to this:

A few more than one. Yay for college students starting a new semester! Check out the awesomely sized memory box!

Steve thinks it's funny. He said, "What other girl in the world gets this excited about boxes?" I still think God is so amazing that he would indulge this little want.

Of Life Lessons and Cats

My cat, Chai, HATES being held.

Which is annoying, because she’s very cute. She’s a beautiful “blue-and-cream” calico. (Thus saithed the pet shop tag on her cage) Chai will jump on the bed and curl up at my feet, and she’ll let me scratch her ears, and maybe play with her a bit – but only on HER terms. And when she’s done, she’s done. If you pick her up, she’ll go all stiff for a few seconds, and then start struggling, all the while wimpering piteously.

As I said, it’s annoying. Because I love holding soft, warm things, and Chai is a soft, warm thing that purrs.

Basically, I can look forward to holding her once a year. That’s when we go to the vet. The whole expedition is fraught with trauma as far as Lady (Other cat. Black shorthair. Looks like a demon when she’s mad) and Chai are concerned. First, they are stuffed in the kitty carrier (“Mew, mew!”), then a 5-minute car drive (“MMRROOOWWW!!), a brief pause in the waiting room that is inevitably inhabited by a spastic puppy (“Hisssssssss!!”), and finally a 10 minute wait in the exam room. (both cats now scared spitless)

When the vet finally comes in to do what needs to be done, poor little miss-I-don’t-like-to-be-held Chai is clinging to me and burrowing in my arms like the world is going to end. She doesn't stop until we're back, safe, at home. The other day, I was counting the months until her next vet appointment, and I started thinking, is this how I can be with God?

Do I tend to only spend time with God on my own terms, not allowing him to sometimes scoop me up in His arms without me planning it? But then when I DO want to be in His arms, I cling as hard as I possibly can, as if I never want to be let go. Only to back away as soon as my world falls back into place.

Lord, help me to quit loving you like a cat!

And I'm a girl who loves her cats.

Prayer Calendars and the Girl Who Compiled Them

No matter how much you love your job, they all have the busy work and things you just have to do. I love my job, I really do. But for the last couple days, pretty much all I’ve worked on is the prayer calendars for the website, where we list a missionary, support staff member, MK, and college-aged MK on each day. I had been compiling them month by month, but my boss decided (and I agree with her) that it would be good to have the whole of 2009 available on the website to be printed out.

So what is usually a two-hour job has become….a lot more than that. Plus I’m reformatting the old Word files I inherited, cleaning up information, and rewriting some of the copy to sound less pompous. It’s not creative work at all, and I’m getting bored, something that really rarely happens with me. And several days in a row of it – with more to come – is getting to me a bit.

But what it HAS done is put the names of every WGM missionary, retiree, support staff member, and MK in front of me in a very short amount of time. Now that I’ve been here four years, I’ve gotten to know a lot of them, and even would call some of them friends. I could pretty much tell you what each missionary does – at least the basics. And as I’ve been typing, coping, pasting, editing, etc, I’ve realized anew how important prayer is to these guys. I know, it sounds all cliché-y. But I believe God truly gives certain people a burden to pray through these prayer calendars, praying for each person by name.

So, even though I’m still not enthralled with this project, I’m okay with it. Because it’s not about me. At all. And that’s a good feeling. Want to check out my handiwork? (Okay, that maybe was a little about me) The whole of 2009 one will be up....oh, you know...sometime.

Silence

A while ago in chapel at work, we watched a short film by Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill church in Grand Rapids. He talked about God speaking to Elijah – not with the storm or the earthquake – but with a still, small voice, or as it is sometimes translated, in the silence. The film went on to be completely silent, only flashing words on the screen. The point was that it’s possible that there is a connection between the amount of noise in our lives, and our closeness to God.

We are constantly exposed to so much noise. Cell phones, TV’s, radios, MP3 players, computers, so much that exists to be something to listen to or to interact with.

At one point in the film, there was about 60 seconds of nothing. No audio, no visual, just silence. And it was uncomfortable.

Why do we feel the need to fill the silence?

Is it because we can’t bear the fact that when there’s no noise, there’s nothing to distract us from our own thoughts? Or does it mean that the only thing left to do is listen to God, and that makes us squirm in our seats?

When was the last time I worshiped God in the silence?